Re-Run Monday: Youth Sports is About More Than Just Winning

Here’s a new feature, Re-Run Monday. Lots of our old stuff didn’t make it over to the new site last year, so we’re uploading some of them here on Re-Run Mondays. Some of you might remember them, some of you might be new enough, this will be just like the first time around. Thanks for sticking with us!

imagesWendy Pierman Mitzel
From : 3/6/2013

I used to squeak.

From kindergarten through high school I put on my trademark white cleats and hit the “pitch” as those Brit friends of mine call it. And for the first few years I squeaked each time the black and white sphere came my direction and required me to engage in battle.

It was a weird habit that my gawky, bespecticled-self developed. It took years to break once I realized I was too old for it to be cute and instead it had turned just plain weird. 

I wasn’t a great soccer player at first, but as time went on I gained confidence and skill and control over my long, skinny arms and legs.

Just as a foal takes time to become a mare, I needed a few years to GROW into myself.

Eventually, I earned a varsity spot and a few conference awards for my kick-ass defensive moves and rockin’ white cleats.

What’s disheartening to me, is that my children are not given the same OPPORTUNITIES to grow and learn as I was.

Young athletes these days are required to meet extremely high sports expectations at an age when they are still growing into their big hands and feet, remembering to brush their teeth in the morning and put on clean underwear.

No longer do kids play to learn. They play to win.

And it’s “grown-ups” who made that decision.

Make no mistake, your children, our children, did not enter into sports and recreation to spend all their waking non-school hours schlepping to out-of-town weekend -long tournaments. They do not want to spend hundreds of dollars on paid coaches and professional uniforms. 

Sure they want to win, everybody does. But mostly they just want to play. Show me a young child who would rather sit on the sideline so the team can keep a winning record than get out there and rumble on the defensive line. Show me a child who would rather be benched and get a team win than grab that basketball and get in the paint.

I’ve been engaged in a lot of talk around the water cooler lately regarding playing time and practice time for kids. Lengthy practices are leading to intense games where only the best fourth grade hotshots are getting any play time. Adolescents who haven’t played hockey since birth can’t seem to get a blade on the ice. And if you haven’t joined the travel leagues by age eight you might as well count yourself out of the game.

I feel I can speak from a place of knowledge here as a parent, player and coach.  Kids should be playing to learn, not playing to win. They deserve to be given the opportunity to play, learn and enjoy the game… not the  chance to maintain a warm temperature on a metal bench.  The longer they sit on that bench, the more disenchanted and worthless they feel. Do we really want them to give up?

If you haven’t already guessed, I am of the opinion that all CHILDREN should get a chance to play. It’s called sharing. We teach it in kindergarten.

If I had grown up in today’s world, I likely would have been relegated to the bench line and become discouraged or maybe I’d have bagged the entire experience all together.  

If it weren’t for those coaches who put me in the game despite my squeak and lack of “natural talent” I would never have known the thrill of a great stop or an unexpected goal. I wouldn’t have had the memories of the teamwork and sportsmanship. I’m grateful I had coaches who not only emphasized teamwork and skill, but the importance of fun and of LEARNING.

If I had grown up in today’s world, I would never have learned the sport, and then known the pride and joy of coaching my daughter and her peers. I’ve seen first-hand girls who didn’t want to play because they “weren’t good enough” stick with it to become confident young athletes on their way to a lifetime filled with sports. 

I say, let them all play. Winning is the ultimate goal in the game of sports. But learning how to winis what gets you there.

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